Life After Lily
by PrettyPeary
Summary: Somehow on Halloween James Potter doesn't die, but finds his wife murdered and his son with a new scar. How will he pick up the pieces of his life and keep going when the love of his life is gone, but his son and friends still need him?
1. Chap 1

Lily gently laid Harry into his cot, smiling slightly as he scrunched his nose before falling back to sleep. She could hear James in the kitchen making either a snack or a drink, or both. Lily breathed deeply and released it slowly, a nightly ritual to help remember that her family was whole for another day. After checking once more that Harry was indeed down for the night Lily descended the stairs to find a glass of firewhiskey next to the bowl of candy they hadn't given out that year. James was shamelessly digging into the candy, she had learned his sweet tooth knew no bounds during their late night ventures to the kitchens in seventh year. She came up behind him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, taking solace in her husband. James turned and slowly lifted her chin up kissing her deeply, he tasted like the candy from the bowl.

The sneakoscope that always laid on the counter began to spin and whirl wildly. Lily looked around and realized James was without his wand. He realized this at the same moment and dove into the sitting room for it just as the back door was blown off its hinges. "Lily RUN," but she was already gone, sprinting headlong up the stairs to their son.

James watched her go and turned his full attention to the hooded figure gliding across the kitchen. Hearing Harry begin to wail hardened his resolve. The duel began quicker than James could have anticipated, each protego cast was all he could do to stay alive. With a final flourish of his wand Riddle broke through, sending James's body into the wall, it slid to the floor with a thud, motionless.

Lily heard the duel suddenly end and knew what was coming. She quickly set Harry back down. "Harry, momma loves you, dada loves you, whatever happens that will never change." She turned around as the nursery door was blasted open. "NO NOT HARRY PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST SPARE HIM." A blast of green light ended Lily Potter on the spot where she'd reassured herself they were safe only minutes before. Harry gazed at this new figure with huge curious eyes. As Riddle glared down, he carefully positioned his wand directly over the center of the infant's forehead and thought the spell. The sound of a cannon went off within the nursery and Harry began to wail with renewed intensity.

Downstairs James slowly stirred, everything hurt from his head down to his toenails. Over the ringing in his ears, James registered Harry's wails and lurched up to his feet and raced up the stairs the best he could. When he saw Lily lying on the ground he collapsed next to her, "no, Evans NO." James had no idea how long he sat there cradling the girl he'd loved since the day they were both sorted into Gryffindor. Eventually, he became aware not only of Harry's whimpers but also of another presence in the house. Severus Snape slowly advanced toward the nursery, James raised his wand from where he sat and pointed it directly at Snivellus's chest. "Get. Out." Snape paled more than what James considered possible at the sight of the both the wand and Lily. He disapparated from the spot. Gently planting a kiss on his wife's forehead, he laid her down as gently as possible. James turned and picked up Harry wiping the small trickle of blood off his son's forehead. James started at the sight of the cut that would surely leave a scar. He stood facing both of them away from his wife's body "I'm here buddy, I'm here." He took his son and sat at the top of the stairs, unable to look at Lily and unable to be too far away from her. Harry clung desperately to James's shirt and James realized two things. One, Riddle was gone. Two, Peter had betrayed them. Time began to blur for James as he sat at the top of the stairs, cognizant of his son's slow breathing and his own fast, shallow breaths.

With a boom something landed on the front lawn and Sirius bounded through the house, wand out. Upon seeing a bloodied James practically clutching his godson Sirius slowed to the top of the stairs. James stared at him almost uncomprehendingly. "Prongs, Prongsie, mate what happened where's Lily?" The look James gave him put a chill on his skin. Sirius slowly moved past James and into the ruined nursery. He stopped in the doorway at the sight of the woman who'd become his sister in every way that mattered. He glanced back at James and his blood began to boil, knowing who the rat was who'd done this to his family. "I'll be back Prongs." Sirius stalked out of the house and got onto his motorbike, just as he was starting it up Hagrid appeared. "Do not let them out of your sight," Sirius commanded as he roared off into the night.

James heard the hitch in Sirius's breath as he'd entered the nursery, he heard the motorbike start up and heard Hagrid come through the now much larger door of the house. "James, we got ter get ya outta here, Dumbledore's orders." "Hagrid I am not leaving her." It was then that Hagrid realized only two Potters sat at the top of the stairs. Moony stepped out from behind Hagrid "Prongs, think of Harry, we need to get you somewhere safe, I will stay with her I promise." James slowly nodded and got up from the step feeling 30 years older than he had earlier. Still in something of a trance he followed Hagrid into the yard seeing a tarnished teacup laying there. James looked back only once to see his home blasted apart as though a bomb went off in the nursery, he saw Moony standing guard through the stairs window. Without speaking he clutched Harry even tighter and touched the teacup with one finger, Hagrid did the same. James felt the familiar tug in his navel as he was transported to God knows where, as long as it wasn't Godric's Hollow.

Remus watched his friend disappear and only then did he allow himself to take in the devastation that had happened that night. He gazed around the landing and slowly made his way into the nursery where he knew Lily must be. At the sight of her he completely lost control and sat on his heels against the mint coloured walls and openly wept. Lily had been like a sister, she had been the only person who could read him better than the Mauraders, and he had filled the sibling role left so empty by Petunia. So, Remus wept and continued to weep as he summoned a sheet from the master bedroom and wrapped her in it like a burial shroud. He knew she deserved more, and would receive it but for now it was all he could do. Once properly wrapped he carried his sister into the master bedroom and gently laid her upon the bed. Still weeping, Remus proceeded to begin packing up things he knew James and Harry would need, from clothes to a toothbrush to Harry's favorite stuffed animal and blanket. He threw all the nappies he could find into a bag as well, fully aware of how many Harry could go through. Going into the kitchen Remus grabbed James and Lily's favorite coffee mugs as well as the afghan Molly Weasley had made them last Christmas. Finally, he grabbed all the photographs he could find, James might not want them now, but that may very well change someday. Once he was reasonably sure everything James and Harry would need in the coming days was collected Remus began to walk around the boundary of the property putting up various wards as he went, by the time he ended up back at the front door only a select few could see and enter the property. Finally, Remus stood guard at the bottom of the stairs, unsure as to how long he would be there but resigning himself to guard Lily for as long as it took for one of those select few to come.

Sirius refused to allow the tears to fall on his face, not yet. If he hadn't suggested changing the secretkeeper to Peter then, no dwell on that later. Sirius brought the motorbike down right next to Peter's house statute of secrecy be damned. He blasted the front door off its hinges just as Peter ran out the back, and a chase began. Because Sirius and Remus had secretly traded off keeping watch at Godric's Hollow and Peter's place he knew every twist and turn nearly as well as the rat. Peter suddenly turned into a street with muggles who seemed to be walking home from a show of some sort. Sirius stopped short watching in slow motion as the bastard waved at him before preforming a blasting curse. Sirius only just managed to throw up a shield charm before Peter's charm hit, even with the shield Sirius was still knocked back, where his head landed with a crack on the ground. His last thought before losing consciousness was realizing where Peter must have learned to cast that powerful of a spell, then he lay in the street unaware of the carnage around him.


	2. Chap 2

A/N: I'll try to update more often but also college keeps getting in the way so we will see what happens!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, our queen and savior J.K. Rowling owns everything

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James wearily trudged up the trail leading toward Hogwarts. When he and Hagrid had landed near the edge of Hogsmeade he had barely been surprised. He glanced as the gates came into view, swallowing hard as the feeling of safety enveloped him as well as memories of a simpler, happier time where Evans was still alive. Behind him, Hagrid felt the tears still leaking from his eyes and falling into his beard, he kept his stride to a fraction of what it normally was refusing to let James and Harry out of sight. James was dimly aware of their winding path through the castle that ended abruptly at the entrance to Dumbledore's office. Hagrid quietly murmured the password and they began to ascend, James glanced down amazed at how Harry continued to slumber, his little fists still twisted in his father's shirt.

As they entered Dumbledore looked up sharply, eyes narrowing as he counted the number of Potters entering his office. "Thank you Hagrid, will you please go and fetch Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey." Hagrid nodded and plodded back out of the office, closing the door behind him. Dumbledore then turned his full attention to James, and conjured a stuffed chair motioning for his former student to take a seat.

"James, I need to know what happened tonight," Dumbledore said quietly. James looked up sharply and began to breathe more quickly, shallowly and opened his mouth to protest. Dumbledore held up a hand silencing the oncoming protest, "My boy, if I thought it would help you to put this off and even a day I would, you have my word that I will never again ask you to relive what you have witnessed earlier this night."

James looked into the headmaster's eyes and saw more understanding and empathy there than what he'd thought possible. Closing his eyes briefly James took a deep breath and slowly began. As he talked Harry began to wake up and James stood, pacing to get his son back to sleep continuing to pace long after Harry had fallen back to sleep. James finished the tale as the sun began to crack the horizon and seemed to deflate into himself and sitting back into the chair. It was then he heard quiet sniffling and realized McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey must have slipped in part way through his telling.

Dumbledore was leaning against the front of his desk, his hands clasped under his nose as though praying, looking sadder than James had ever seen him. Dumbledore looked over toward McGonagall, "Minerva, please go find Hagrid and ask him to return to Godric's Hollow and assist Remus Lupin with Lily's body. Tell him to take her to Bathilda Bagshot she will see that Lily is taken care of until the funeral can be arranged." McGonagall wiped her eyes once more, straightened up, and went to find Hagrid. Dumbledore turned his attention back to James and Harry. "James I would like you and Harry to stay here at Hogwarts for the next day or two until we can be certain you will be safe outside these walls. Then you are free to stay with Remus or Sirius should you so choose. We have an extra staff quarters that are being made up for you as we speak." James looked up at his former headmaster and merely nodded, standing and preparing to leave when Dumbledore continued, "Please James let Poppy examine both you and Harry to ensure you are in fact uninjured." James nodded again and reluctantly handed his son to Poppy watching intently as she muttered under her breath casting diagnostic spell after diagnostic spell pausing more than briefly over the cut on Harry's forehead. When finished she looked at Dumbledore, "I doubt this cut will ever fully heal, but otherwise I can nothing wrong with him." James sighed in relief and Dumbledore merely nodded, James gently took his sleeping son back and turned toward the door when Dumbledore cleared his throat reminding James that he still needed to be examined, sighing and returning James to the chair waiting impatiently while Poppy repeated the process on James, healing the small cuts and bruises that happened during his duel with Riddle. Once she was done James looked blearily at Dumbledore "Now can we go?" Dumbledore nodded and a house elf appeared, one who James vaguely recognized from his frequent trips to the kitchens his seventh year.

She quietly led them through the quiet castle until they reached a small quarters with a bed and nightstand there was a cot near the bed and dresser on the opposite wall. Pajamas for both Harry and James sat on the bed as well as a couple clean nappies and a bottle for Harry. James quickly changed his son and laid him in the cot, satisfied Harry's needs were met for the time being James quickly stripped off his ruined clothes and slithered into the clean ones. Sitting on the bed James noticed a small vial sitting on the nightstand with a note sitting under it. Dumbledore's loopy handwriting adorned the parchment, "To avoid dreams" James realized with the vial contained sleeping draught. Looking over to ensure Harry was asleep James unstopped the cork and swallowed the potion in one swift motion. He was asleep before his head hit the bed, with the vial still clutched in hand.

Remus kept his head down in the early morning light, the sun silhouetting the castle. He was unaware of how eerily similar his approach to the castle was to James with Hagrid trudging along behind him. Except this time Hagrid veered off toward his hut to grieve in solitude and Remus continued on his own toward the headmaster's office. Approaching the gargoyle Remus murmured the password and ascended the staircase.

When he entered the office Dumbledore was leaning against the front of his desk eyes focused on an empty stuffed chair in front of him appearing deep in thought. His eyes, Remus noticed, were a sharp, hard blue without any of their usual glimmer. Dumbledore looked up as Remus entered the room seeming to snap back to the moment, motioning for Remus to take a seat before speaking, "James and Harry are both safe in a spare staff's quarters." Remus let out a pent up breath he'd been unconsciously holding since his family had vanished with the portkey, before saying "And Sirius is with them right?" Dumbledore's eyes narrowed slightly at this, "No, should he be?" Remus's breathing hitched slightly as he launched into his account of the night before starting with the patronus he'd received from Sirius that something was terribly in wrong in Godric's Hollow all the way until Hagrid helped him get Lily's body safely to Bathilda's cottage. He finished by reiterating that Sirius had left Godric's Hollow just as Remus arrived, he'd assumed Sirius was on his way to Hogwarts to inform the headmaster what had occurred.

Remus became aware of the sun, now peaking in over the top of Gryffindor Tower. Dumbledore had scarcely moved during his recount his eyes never leaving Remus's face. Now his head bowed slightly for a moment before clearing his throat, "Thank you Remus, neither you nor James will be bothered while here, and as soon as Sirius is located you both will be the first to know." Remus nodded and stood, feeling a breath begin to build inside him again as another member of his family was unaccounted for. A house elf he believed was named Leasy, one who'd made certain there was hot chocolate waiting on his nightstand after every full moon during school, was waiting near the door to take him to James and Harry. They walked in silence, until reaching the quarters where the Potters were. Through the thick wood door Remus could hear James's snores and felt the edges of his mouth briefly pulled up. As he opened the door he saw James spread eagle over the covers, an empty vial of what Remus assumed was a sleeping draught in one hand and his wand clutched tightly in the other hand. Remus also saw Harry standing in the cot staring at his father, indignant at being woken up in such a way. When Harry saw Remus standing there he immediately reached for him. Sirius might be Harry's godfather, but uncle Moony was always Harry's favorite when it came to cuddles. Remus picked up the toddler and Harry immediately burrowed into Remus's shoulder. Remus heard both his and Harry's stomach grumble in unison. "Come on Harry let's go get a little food." He found a spare bit of parchment and wrote a note telling James where they were, leaving it on the nightstand where Remus was confident James would see it, and then he and Harry left in search of a pear to tickle.

As James returned to consciousness he became aware of a cramping sensation emanating from his right hand, as he slowly uncurled his right fingers the events of the previous night crashed down around him pushing him into the fetal position as though he could make himself so small the pain would simply go around him. He remembered it all so vividly from the candy dish to the duel from cradling his wife to cradling his son. His son, James realized he hadn't heard any noise from the cot since he'd woken up. He looked over and his pulse doubled, Harry wasn't in the cot causing James's grip on his wand to redouble, he sprang from the bed and was nearly to the door when it opened and Moony walked in carrying a giggling Harry and levitating a tray of sandwiches and pitchers of pumpkin juice and hot chocolate behind him. Moony took in the sight of James, the tearstains and the white knuckles gripping the wand and quickly put the food and drink on the dresser, handing Harry to his father.

"Where the hell were you?" James practically yelled. Moony blinked rapidly and realized the note he'd written was still sitting unopened on the nightstand. He walked over picked it up and handed the note to James. James quickly scanned the contents as Harry began to squirm to be let down and explore the new space. Exhaling deeply James set Harry down and slumped onto the end of the bed. He put his head in his hands continued to control his breathing before looking up at his friend with a broken expression. "Moony, what am I going to do without her?" Moony sat down hard next to James, putting his arm around his friend as Padfoot and James had often done for him after a full moon. "Well, for starters we're going to make sure you are Harry will be safe outside this castle, from there you and Harry can have your pick of places to stay between Sirius and I. Hell, we'll even keep spaces made up at both places for you." His last words had the intended effect, as the corners of James's mouth lifted up for half a second.

Taking one last deep breath James looked over to see Harry attempting to climb onto the bed by clinging to the comforter. He reached over and lifted his son onto the center of the bed, then stood up and walked over to the sandwiches grabbing two in one hand. James quirked an eyebrow at the hot chocolate, Moony was adamant that no matter the situation chocolate of some form was helpful. Filling a mug with it he went back to bed, where Harry and Moony were now playing peek-a-boo.

As he played the game Moony began talking. "After I got back to the castle Dumbledore had Leasy take me here, and I could hear you snoring from outside. Harry was already awake and was getting fussy about being hungry so I took him down to the kitchens and left you a note. The house elves were already slicing up fruit and such for him so we ate down there and grabbed a plate of sandwiches for you. We came back here and well you know the rest." James nodded and swallowed, opened his mouth for another bite when a knock came through the door.

Dumbledore swept in with a hard glint in his eyes, Minerva right on his heels. "We found Sirius, you both need to come with me quickly, before Barty Crouch does something truly rash. James, Minerva will look after Harry until we return." James loathed to part with Harry but the urgency in Dumbledore's tone was unmistakable and he knew Mcgonagall would protect Harry, so he simply nodded and gulped down the last of his hot chocolate. James then picked Harry up and kissed the top of his son's head breathing in the smell of his feathery black hair, before handing him to Mcgonagall. Then he and Moony followed Dumbledore out of the castle and back down the path toward the apparation point near Hogsmeade.

Sirius realized two things upon awakening, one he was in a small cell that felt unnaturally cold. Two, his wand was gone. Initially it was the second revelation that caused more distress until Sirius realized the reason for the cold was the pair of dementors standing outside the door of his cell. Sirius backed into the corner farthest from the door knowing exactly the kind of memories bound to begin surfacing around those beasts. He went to lean his head against the wall and gasped in pain, Sirius put his hand to his head and felt a bump the size of a snowball as well as dried blood matting his hair. Sirius racked his brain to remember how he'd been knocked out cold. Then it all came back to him almost in reverse order. Peter waving, his best friends' lives being torn apart, his small alarm going off alerting him that the wards around the Potters' house had been broken. Sirius was still confused as to why he was being held in this cell. Where were James and Harry? And where the hell was that rat? Sirius still refused to let the tears flow. Grief was something he would deal with later. He didn't know how long he sat there in his misery, thinking about Lily and James and Harry, thinking about how it was without a doubt his fault when the door slammed open and patronus in the shape of a weasel entered followed by one and only Barty Crouch.

Crouch looked at Sirius as though regarding something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. "Sirius Black, you are charged with the murders of 12 muggles and the murder of the wizard Peter Pettigrew. For these charges you have been found guilty and will be transferred to fulfill a life sentence in Azkaban. You will be transferred in a matter of hours once I am assured there's a cell open." With that Crouch spun on his heel, leaving an open mouthed Sirius to stare at the backside of Crouch's robes only finding his voice as the door slammed closed. "What the hell are you talking about Crouch? I didn't do any of those things!"

Crouch paused, his weasel still guarding him, "We have the memories of muggles who remember you doing it, and all we could find of Pettigrew was finger." With that he walked purposefully away, leaving Sirius to contemplate his fate. Sirius was so deep in thought he forgot to move away from the door was soon trapped in his own worst memories, chief among them Lily. Sirius fell to the floor near the door, the tears finally fell.

Some time later Sirius heard a great disturbance at the end of the hall and a phoenix patronus suddenly burst through the hall driving away the dementors. Sirius managed to move away from the door as it banged open. He realized through the fog of his misery that Prongs and Moony were helping him up while Dumbledore looked on, a fire within his eyes. Even before Sirius could get to his feet there was Barty Crouch, all red in the face seemingly ready to argue with Albus Dumbledore. However it was Prongs who began the verbal castration first. Dismantling every one of Crouch's arguments by revealing Peter had been the secret keeper and with some hesitation he revealed Peter was an animagus which is why they weren't able to find him. Crouch visibly deflated upon the new information, which he hadn't bothered to ask of Sirius, and simply stepped out of the way. As his friends helped him out of his cell Sirius stopped next to Crouch and simply held out his hand, from within the robe sleeves Crouch withdrew Sirius's wand and handed it to him. Once all of them were outside the cell, Dumbledore grabbed Sirius's shoulder and side-alonged all three of the Marauders back to Hogsmeade.

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A/N:Please review!


	3. Chap 3

A/N: Hey guys, see this one only took a month and a half! In all seriousness once summer hits I plan on writing a lot more so stay tuned for updates. Also please review! I would really appreciate hearing from you guys. As always our queen and savior JKR owns everything, I am but a peasant.

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James was getting tired of this path to Hogwarts, he glanced behind him and saw Moony and Padfoot plodding along. Dumbledore was ahead of them leading the charge toward the castle. The sun was now just starting to cast shadows as afternoon began to settle over the grounds. When they reached the castle Dumbledore and Padfoot went toward the headmaster's office while Moony and James went back to the James' quarters. Dumbledore must have sent word ahead because Mcgonagall met them on the way. James quickened his pace when he saw her and transferring Harry into his own arms when he got close. As he had done earlier James kissed the tip of his son's head and breathed in the very smell of him. Since the night before James could slowly feel himself being crushed without Evans and standing there holding his son lightened the weight slightly.

"Thank you Professor," James murmured toward Mcgonagall. Mcgonagall simply pressed her lips together and nodded, appearing to barely hold it together.

Prongs turned and continued down toward his room, Remus following close behind. When the door was shut Remus watched his friend gently rocking Harry, who was clutching his father's shirt with both little fists, lulling him slowly to sleep. As Remus stepped closer he noticed the tears beginning to make tracks down Prongs' face. Prongs had always been uncannily good at keeping his emotions in check, but here, now, he was letting himself feel the loss of his wife and Remus had no way to fix it. So, he simply sat down and never let his eyes stray from Prongs, who kept swaying with Harry long after the toddler had fallen asleep. Eventually Remus saw Prongs release a huge, shuddering breath, before gently laying Harry into the cot. Then sitting down next to Remus Prongs leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"What am I going to do Moony, she was my everything."

Remus reached over and simply put a hand on his friend's shoulder, nothing he could say right now would be the right thing.

This was one of the first moments since Voldemort had blasted the door in the night before that James had had a real chance to realize what had all happened. His wife, best friend, was gone forever. He'd always considered the possibility of himself not making it through the war, giving his life for the cause he believed in, for his family but not once had he considered Lily would be the one to die and he be the one to live. As he sat there covering his face, the only thing keeping him grounded him was Moony's hand between his shoulder blades.

"Shit, I didn't take anything with us," James realized lowering his hands.

Moony shook his head, "Prongs, don't worry about that I put together everything you'll need, it's just waiting at the house to be picked up. Which Padfoot and I can do later." He added seeing the panic on James's face at the prospect of going back to the house. "I got Harry's clothes, nappies, favorite animals. I got your clothes, toiletries, blankets, quilts." He hesitated a moment, "Prongs, I got all the photos I could find, I can keep them safe if you don't want to see them yet. If I missed anything tell me and I can get it."

James sniffed, still looking down toward his hands, "That all sounds fine Moony thank you." He started twisting his wedding band around, "Fuck, I'm gonna have to plan a funeral, she deserves something beautiful." James's head snapped up. "No one's told Petunia."

Moony looked slightly confused, "I didn't think Petunia had ever responded."

"She didn't but Lily sent the letters anyway. Always hoped Petunia would just give her a chance. If nothing else, Petunia should know that know she's lost that forever." James stood up and walked toward the cot. "Moony, I need to do this, I'll be back by dark." He kissed the tips of his fingers and brushed them against Harry's forehead mindful of the fresh cut. James took a deep breath at the door before leaving to walk back down to the Hogsmeade apparation point.

Remus watched from the window as his friend went down the path and disappeared through the gates. He stayed in that spot long after Prongs was gone, staring into space until he heard the door open behind him and Padfoot came in looking dead on his feet. Going swiftly across the room Remus tightly hugged his friend. He was well aware things could have gone very differently tonight and any or all of his friends could be dead or in Azkaban. Padfoot was momentarily shocked by the physical contact, as he always was, before he returned the embrace.

"Where's Prongs?" Padfoot asked after the moment had past.

"He's gone to tell Petunia what happened, seemed pretty determined about it too. Didn't even let me begin to talk him out of it before leaving."

Sirius knew nothing could have stopped Prongs once he'd made up his mind, so he nodded and went over to the cot where Harry was starting to wake up and picked up his godson. As it had done with both James and Remus holding Harry seemed to center Sirius, remind him that not all had been lost.

"Ok Moony, I can't just sit in here until he gets back there's got to be something we can do, anything."

Moony sighed, "Well, we can go to Godric's Hollow and get all of Prongs and Harry's stuff. After that we could start planning the funeral, even if it's just the basics I think Prongs will need the help."

Sirius just nodded and sat down still holding Harry to his chest, "Let's get that trip done, Lily deserves something beautiful."

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James kept his head down, walking briskly up Privet Drive toward number 4. As he walked toward the door he could almost smell the antiseptic coming through the walls. James took a deep breath before knocking on the spotless white door. After a moment he heard light footsteps coming, Petunia answered it already looking miffed that someone dare potentially interrupt her precious son's nap even though she knew an earthquake wouldn't have woken him, her mood didn't improve when she saw who was standing on her doorstep. In fact, she tried to close the door and the only thing the prevented it was his foot.

"Petunia, trust me when I say you want to let me in, because I will yell it through the door otherwise."

Flaring her nostrils Petunia opened the door enough for James to slip inside. He didn't hesitate to walk through the entryway into the living room where he waited for Petunia, who was now completely irate at the thought of not only a stranger, but a wizard on top of it being in her house. Once she was also in the living room James sat down at looked at her and waited till she did the same.

"Did you even read them? I watched her send you letter after letter getting hopeful every time that you might decide to remember you were sisters. I watched her try to hide the tears every time weeks went by without any response from you." His voice was slowly building with his anger. "She loved you so much Petunia and all she wanted was a second chance, you were the only family she had left and you couldn't find it in your heart to just bloody get over it." James's eyes never left Petunia's.

Petunia shot to her feet, "My sister is a freak, who can't stand the thought of just acting normal. Heaven forbid I don't get along with Mummy and Daddy's favorite."

James looked down for a moment before quietly saying, "She's dead Petunia. She was killed last night saving our son." He looked up and it looked as though Petunia had shrunken into a shell at his words. "Though you might not give a damn, I thought you should know, seeing as how she wanted to know you so badly." He stood up and started back toward the entryway. "The funeral is in a few days in Godric's Hollow." He said over his shoulder.

Petunia stared straight ahead, blinking when she heard the door slam behind James. She couldn't move, she'd say he was lying but one only needed to look at him to realize that wasn't the case. How could Lily be so stupid? Petunia felt herself get up and go toward the cupboard below the stairs, the one rarely used it for anything but rubbish. She knelt down and took a shoe box out, setting it down on the floor next to her. Taking the lid off of it she stared at the pile of unopened letters piled neatly in the box, the most recent from only a few weeks before. Petunia began to cry.

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James looked around, the leaves were just beginning to fall from the trees, they were still full of color, many a similar red to Evans' hair. Honestly, he was looking anywhere but the casket in front of him. When he'd arrived back to Hogwarts, he'd walked in on Padfoot and Moony finishing up the funeral plans, Merlin he was lucky to have them there was no way he'd have been able to get through any of this alone. James held Harry a little tighter, barely listening to the short wizard presiding over the service. There were lilies of different colors atop the casket along with one daisy James had put there himself. The motion of the wizard waving his wand and the casket that carried his beautiful wife being lowered into the ground brought him back to the present. Once completely lowered James waved his own wand and the mound of soil next to the grave neatly piled over the grave. The wizard tapped the white marble headstone and James saw her name along with dates of birth and death appear in the stone. Underneath that was a phrase he had chosen, "The last enemy to be conquered shall be death." He wasn't sure where he'd heard it, but somehow it just seemed to fit.

Once the other funeral goers had turned and were leaving James walked toward the fresh mound of dirt and dropped to his knees, gripping the soil with one hand and Harry with the other. The tears he had tried his best not to let out for the last few days began to flow with a fervor. He was keenly aware that this was the closest he would ever to be to Evans again. This was the closest he'd be to the only girl he'd ever loved. Six feet was the closest he could get.

Vaguely he heard leaves crunching on either side of him as Moony and Padfoot also knelt. James saw there were tear tracks running down their faces as well. Moony, being always prepared, pulled out multiple handkerchiefs and dispersed them to his friends. Harry reached for Moony and snuggled into his shoulder immediately.

"Prongs, Padfoot and I had an idea," Moony looked up from the toddler in his shoulder as he spoke.

"Yeah, we were thinking that neither of our places are big enough for both you and Harry full time, but Grimmauld place is. It would need a lot of cleaning up, but I think the three of us could do it." Padfoot ventured hesitantly.

James felt a bit confused, "Pads you hate that place, that's why you ran away."

"Technically, I ran away because my parents were shit, what I mean Prongs is it's a ready-made place for you and Harry to disappear for a while. My parents made it unplottable and I guarantee there's nothing in that house we can't get out between the three of us."

James looked back and forth between his friends, "If you're both sure, then ok, merlin knows I can't go back to our house here anytime soon."

James gave the soil one last pat before standing, he turned toward the gate of the cemetery and saw a tall woman looking entirely too proper even from this distance. When she'd seen him standing she'd begun to walk away. James had a pretty good idea of who she was though.

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Once again please review!


	4. Chap 4

**A/N: Hi Friends! It's finally here and done and I am so sorry it took as long as it did. I promise you I am trying to write more and get these chaps out quicker. That said, please review it means a lot to hear from you all and what you think of the chaps. Please be kind though, this is really my only venture into the writing world.**

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Bellatrix Lestrange sat with her back against the wall of her holding cell. She could vaguely hear the sounds of other Death Eater trials happening above her. Her head was down and she was alone yet her face was kept free of emotions but inside she was roiling with rage and grief. Rage at that rat Karkaroff for telling Barty Crouch it hadn't been Lucius who had tortured the blood traitors, grief because of the hole in her entire being since her master had left her alone. Bellatrix felt more annoyed than anything that Lucius had gotten himself killed. She'd decided their little party had needed one more wand before they'd left the manor that night. It truly hadn't taken much into goading him to come, Lucius was nothing if not prideful. It was that same pride that had made him go through the door first at the Longbottoms' house. An action that set him directly against two aurors alone and left him woefully unprepared for the absolute onslaught of spells that assaulted him within seconds of blasting the door off its hinges. Lucius was down before both feet were through the threshold. Thinking back, Bellatrix could still feel the pleasure each Crucio had brought her as the Longbottoms had writhed and screamed. When Roldophus had told her they needed to go, she thought they'd gotten away with it. Lucius had been blamed and she could continue searching for her master. That was until Karkaroff had come along. Bellatrix lifted her head as she felt the air grow colder around her, a pair of dementors was slowly drifting their way across her cell to her. As they grasped each of her arms Bellatrix flared her nostrils as the same memory began to play on repeat across her mind as she was dragged toward Courtroom 10.

How does this place manage to look like Gringotts and the Slytherin common room all rolled into one, thought Narcissa as she looked around the sitting room of Malfoy Manor. All cold with sharp angles. Her eyes eventually landed on Draco playing with his toys in the middle of the room. They'd barely gotten through the door after Lucius's funeral when he'd begged to be let down and go play. Watching her son, she let her thoughts wander through anything and everything. She'd never loved Lucius, hell she'd barely tolerated him for the majority of their marriage, as it was in many pure-blood families theirs had been an arranged marriage. In fact, Narcissa wasn't the Black daughter originally betrothed to Lucius, she was supposed to marry Henry Nott and Andie was supposed to become a Malfoy. Narcissa smiled to herself, Andie had gotten out, she'd found love and never looked back. Narcissa was fairly certain her sister never knew exactly who their parents intended to marry her to, but it didn't matter once she'd fallen for the Tonks boy. There had been a letter left on Narcissa's nightstand one morning and that was the last she'd heard from Andie since.

Bella on the other hand, well if Narcissa had thought of her eldest sister as mad before that was nothing compared to how she'd been since the Dark Lord's fall. Both she and Roldophus had come round for dinner on Halloween and as the four of them were moving to the sitting room for a night cap everyone besides Narcissa had all suddenly gripped their left forearms in pain, the arm Narcissa knew to hold the Dark Mark. When Bella had seen that her precious mark had faded into nothing more than a faint scar she'd screamed, grabbed Roldophus by the arm and apparated from the spot. The moment they had gone Narcissa had turned toward Lucius, "What just happened? What does that mean?"

"It means the Dark Lord has fallen, it means we chose wrong." He'd looked almost speechless as he'd said it.

Lucius had turned without another word and gone into the study. Narcissa could hear Draco screaming, he'd woken from Bella screams and she'd gone upstairs to get him back to sleep. By the time she had come back downstairs Lucius had filled the desk with parchment. He was furiously writing letters.

"What are you doing?"

He'd practically sneered at her, "What does it look like, I am attempting to make sure I am not in Azkaban within the week. It's time to put the Malfoy fortune to use."

While Lucius had been more discreet than Bella in his support of the Dark Lord it was by no means a secret and both of them were aware of the onslaught that would occur to his followers by the Ministry in the coming weeks. Lucius had already sent many owls to ensure he did not come under direct scrutiny, for once she agreed that it was better the Malfoy name remain out of the news.

This had worked for a few weeks until Bellatrix had shown up with both Lestrange brothers and Barty Crouch Jr. She'd been stalking back and forth in front of the fire, "We have tried for weeks and can't find a single sign of Potter or his little brat, eventually they will show themselves and we will be there when they do." She'd paused in her rants, panting slightly and locked eyes with Lucius. "The Dark Lord had planned to kill another family, the Longbottoms."

In the firelight of the study Narcissa had been sitting quietly, seemingly forgotten. Lucius had sat in his armchair near the fire and had leaned forward at Bella's last statement, "Why does it matter anymore who the Dark Lord had planned to kill?"

Narcissa had seen her sister's eyes glint and realized she'd been waiting for that very question. "Because if my master had marked them for death, then they must have information about him that was of the highest importance." She'd responded in almost reverent, hushed tones.

From there it had taken less than five minutes for Bella to back Lucius' pride into a corner before he agreed to go as well. If their marriage had taught her anything, it was when Lucius could be persuaded to see reason and when it wasn't worth the effort to try. Narcissa had stayed sitting down. When the group of Death Eaters were finalizing their plans Narcissa had gone upstairs to check on Draco and when she'd come back down they were gone.

Narcissa was brought back to the present by the sounds of Draco beginning to fuss. One glance at the clock told her just how far past his nap time it was and after scooping him up she felt them both relax as he snuggled into her shoulder. Going up the stairs toward the nursery Narcissa began to realize it was wasn't just the sitting room but the whole manor that felt cold and hard. As she sat, rocking Draco to sleep she realized two things, she didn't want to raise Draco in a place such as this if she had a choice, and for the first time since her parents had announced her betrothal she did have a choice. When Draco was finally down for a long overdue nap Narcissa changed from her funeral robes into simple jeans and a jumper, something Lucius would have scorned before she cleared the stairs. Entering the kitchen, she noticed an unfamiliar owl waiting outside the window, when she'd opened it and had taken the letter off its leg the owl just stood there as though waiting for her to give him a reply. Narcissa looked at the envelope and though it had been years she recognized Andie's writing immediately. She went and sat at the desk in the study, and after reading it twice through she began writing her response. When she'd sealed the letter, Narcissa went back to the kitchen and found her sister's owl still waiting patiently, she attached the letter explaining her plans and asking simply for her older sister's advice. As she watched the owl fly out the window she thought, maybe just maybe she and Draco stood a chance.

* * *

"Bloody fucking hell," those had been the words muttered by Sirius and probably thought by Prongs and Moony when they'd first entered Grimmauld Place about two weeks ago. The place hadn't changed a bit, apart from the immense amounts of mold and mildew, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to tear the whole place to the ground and just start over completely. His mother had started screaming behind those bloody curtains as soon as Moony had knocked over that damn umbrella rack, which in turn then started his godson screaming as well. This process continued no less than seven times a day until the Marauders decided enough was enough and, because his mother had put a permanent sticking charm on the portrait, simply took the wall around the portrait with it and burned the wall and portrait in what Sirius remembered to have been a garden at one point. A massive hole in the wall was better than his mother any day. The first room they tackled had been the kitchen and the bloody thing had taken nearly a week to make every surface and utensil of a usable standard. It was also the room with the least shitty memories for Sirius which was why he'd suggested they start there.

After it had been made habitable, the kitchen had become home base for Harry purely because it was the only section of the house that could withstand human life for an extended period of time. Sirius had been the one to discover that Harry was more than happy to stay in his travel cot, as long as Kreacher was near. Since the day they'd arrived and started cleaning the house elf had scoffed and muttered nothing nice at the Marauders, particularly Moony. The day after they'd finished the kitchen the Marauders had begun tackling the stairwell, Sirius wasn't sure how even the simple staircase had become as awful as it had, when Harry had begun fussing and before any of them could get to the kitchen to calm him down, Sirius' mother had begun to wail as well, this was the day before they'd burned her. Anyway, they all had prioritized and decided to calm the portrait first, by the time they'd gotten the curtains closed Harry had mysteriously quieted down. Sirius went down to investigate and stopped short in the doorway, Harry was giggling as Kreacher performed little bits of magic involving different colors of smoke.

"Kreacher, how did you know that would work?" Sirius was downright incredulous.

"When masters Regulus and Sirius were small, Kreacher would do this when his mistress's attention was elsewhere," Kreacher had answered without looking up from the toddler.

He was a bit shocked, but Sirius had merely nodded and gone back to his friends, and from then on Kreacher was on Harry duty when they were at Grimmauld place cleaning. When Kreacher had realized they planned to almost entirely gut the place he'd gone into hysterics about what his mistress would say. He'd been in a constant state of hysterics for the remainder of the day when they'd burned his mother. Sirius really couldn't have cared much about Kreacher's thoughts on the matters, but Moony and Prongs seemed to. So, they'd struck a deal with the house elf, he could choose any three artifacts to save from each room, with the stipulation that nothing saved could have dark magic. While Kreacher wasn't ecstatic about this arrangement it certainly seemed to make it easier for him to stay in the kitchen with Harry.

Sirius was well aware they weren't just making the house livable again, they had to make it safe for a toddler who would literally stick anything in his mouth. He had learned that first hand when his genius of a godson had decided Sirius' shoelaces tasted great and managed to chew on every single one. Harry had even managed to chew off some of those little plastic things on the end, Sirius could never remember what they were called. Harry managed to poop them all out the next day like a champ, and after that Sirius had enlisted Moony to make damn sure his flat was baby proofed. Meaning Sirius was now making damn sure this house was safe the first time around. As he was walking up the stairs, Sirius managed to trip on a loose bit of carpet near the landing Prongs and Moony were currently working on. Harry might just live in the kitchen until Hogwarts.

* * *

Remus held back a laugh as Padfoot tripped up the stairs to join them on the landing.

"We're getting rid of the carpet on the stairs," Padfoot growled, "It's a bloody deathtrap."

"Of course Pads, wouldn't dream of keeping it."

"Stop smirking Moony I can hear it in your voice."

Remus glance toward Prongs to see he'd barely looked up from his self appointed job of tearing the peeling wallpaper off and scourgifying every inch of the wall in front of him during the exchange. There had been a brief moment or two where he and Padfoot had gotten their friend to smile since the funeral. Otherwise, well otherwise Prongs was simply surviving.

Not that Remus had expected any different. Prongs had just lost the love of his life and if he'd been cracking jokes Remus would have been worried. They were all dealing with Lily differently, Padfoot was focused on the getting the house together and not getting sucked into the memories that the place held and Prongs was drawing into himself…focusing when either Remus or Padfoot gave him a task or when Harry needed him. The trick, thought Remus, is to make sure he doesn't become simply a shell. Remus turned toward Padfoot, who was still glowering at the carpet.

"Pads as much I hate the carpet, we should probably get the house safe before ripping it all out."

"Fine, but I get the personal pleasure of ripping it out when it's time."

"Will do, but for now what are the rooms on this floor."

Padfoot thought for a second, "Should just be guest rooms my cousins would stay in when they'd visit in the summers. Hopefully won't take long, did Kreacher get his things out of them yet?"

At that exact moment Kreacher apparated up to the landing. "Yes Master Sirius, Kreacher has collected the most precious items from both rooms."

"Good thank you Kreacher, go back down and watch Harry now." Remus shot his friend a look, Padfoot rolled his eyes, "Please."

With that Kreacher apparated back to the kitchen and all three Marauders looked inside the room to the left of the landing. It contained two twin beds completely covered in dust and moth holes, the curtains on the windows were buzzing slightly with what Remus predicted to be doxies, the dustbin in the corner seemed to be coughing incessantly, the wallpaper was peeling in long thin strips along the length of the entire walls, and there was a portrait next to the wardrobe that, though empty, seemed to be humming an odd tune. Despite this being better than what they'd encountered in the entryway and the kitchen all the Marauders sighed at the task ahead of them. Only three floors to go.

* * *

Andromeda was nearly through with her Saturday cleaning, she'd sent Dora outside to play earlier, well aware that having her daughter help would nearly double the time it took to get the cleaning done. Saturday cleaning was one of the times Andie didn't use magic to get things done quicker. There was something incredibly relaxing about putting everything where it belonged, even if she knew her husband and daughter would move it all within a day. Having just finished the kitchen, Andie went to the window just to make sure Dora was still in the yard, for once she was. Andie squinted in the afternoon sun and could make out her owl, Iris, coming toward the house. There was definitely something attached to her leg. She hadn't expected Cissa to reply this quickly, or at all she thought frowning. Andie had no idea how much her little sister may have changed after having lived with and been married to Lucius Malfoy. Leaving her little sister behind when she'd left to marry Ted was by far the hardest part of leaving home. While she didn't regret the decision, Andie had always felt guilty and wished she'd done something more than leave a letter. As soon as Iris landed Andromeda took the letter from her leg and put some owl pellets in her cage. Her eyes never left the letter as she walked to the table and sat down. Ripping the envelope open Andie's eyes begin to widen while reading

 _Dear Andie,_

 _I'm not sure you're aware of the pleasure it gives me to write those words. Lucius would have thrown a letter to you into the fire had he ever seen me writing one. I have a plan Andie, a plan to be more myself than I've been in years. I'm hoping it will also save Draco form growing up as we did. From feeling the need to run away to be happy as you did. I've already seen Lucius' will and thanks to our marriage contract I get everything of his, I guess I can thank our parents for that. I can't live here though, I feel trapped in this house even with Lucius gone. So, I've decided to sell the manor. I don't know where exactly we will move to, but as long as it's got more color than Gringotts I will be happy. That one I'm decided on, but I need your opinion on something else. I want to change both my name and Draco's to Black. As far as I am concerned Malfoy can die with Lucius, and I never truly felt like a Malfoy, I still pause when signing my name to refrain from signing Black. Besides, I don't want Draco to grow up with the sting of the name now that Lucius was caught and killed. I've missed you more than words can describe sister, please let me know your opinion soon._

 _Your sister,_

 _Narcissa_

Andie read the letter twice, she'd been worried about Cissa spending too much time with Bella and Lucius. But not only did she seem to be the same, her sister seemed a bit more like they're cousin Sirius than anyone would have guessed. She moved back to the window and watched Dora play for a minute before Ted came around the house and joined her. He didn't know she'd written Cissa, she figured she'd tell him if she got a response….Well, this was definitely a response and Andie had a strong feeling Ted would have an opinion on what to do about her sister.

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading, again I promise I'm trying to write more and please please please review.**


	5. Chap 5

A/N: Hi friends, work has been so boring as of late that all of this chapter was actually written there. Please. Please. Please review it would be so helpful and encouraging to hear from more of you all.

Disclaimer: Is my name J.K. Rowling? No. Therefore I own nothing

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After getting Dora to bed for the night, Andie descended the stairs to see Ted sitting at the counter with Cissa's letter. She'd set it in front of him on her way past when going upstairs to tuck Dora in. Andie rounded the counter and stood across from her husband, leaning on her elbows.

"So?"

"I think I'm confused here, love. I thought Narcissa would be like Bellatrix now, or Lucius."

Andie picked up the letter, skimming it as she talked. "That's what I was afraid of, I was afraid she'd changed but apparently we are both wrong. Because if anything she sounds more rebellious than she did when we were at Hogwarts."

"But how isn't she like them?" His voice pulled her eyes back up.

"I don't, I don't know Ted," she paused, biting her bottom lip, "But I think I need to figure it out."

He sighed, "I thought you might say that."

"I need to find out if she is really still my sister if only because outside of you and Dora she is my only family." Andie's eyes dropped back down to the letter.

"Sirius is what, a mangy dog?"

She snorted softly, "Sirius is definitely family, but Narcissa…she's my baby sister Ted."

Ted nodded, "Just be careful love, please."

Andie walked past him toward the table kissing his temple on the way by. Sitting down she summoned a fresh piece of parchment, quill, and ink. As she began writing Andie felt herself slipping into the more formal tones that had been drilled into her as a child and stopped. She only did that when she was nervous. Shaking her head, Andie summoned another piece of parchment and started again, this time making sure to keep the letter in her own voice.

 _Dear Cissa,_

 _Hello baby sister, trust me I have missed you just as much if not more. It made me incredibly happy to read your letter and know you haven't changed since I left. Where your plans are concerned I think selling the manor is a brilliant idea. Nothing good has come from that place in a long time and getting out while you have the chance sounds like an easy decision to me. As for changing your name I'm not sure I'll be much help. The name Black means something very different to me than it does to you. I ran from that name, maybe in the same way you're running from Malfoy. I can't tell you what to do on that front, but if it would make you happy then I would encourage doing it._

 _Love, Andie_

 _P.S. If you would be interested in getting coffee sometime, just let me know the time and place. I'll be there_.

* * *

It took the Marauders another two weeks to clear the house up to the next landing. And in that time they slowly migrated into the house semi permanently. Sirius and Moony took one bedroom, James and Harry in the other. The whole crew went back to Moony's on Sundays to do laundry and grab clothes and nappies for the next week. They'd also begun deciding who would be in what room once the place was finished. Sirius would take his old bedroom, because why not, Moony said he'd take Regulus's room. Sirius decided to leave it as a surprise as to just how much silver and green was in there. Prongs would take the master bedroom and the spare room across the landing would become the nursery.

Sirius had to admit, he was starting to enjoy ripping apart the house his parents had loved so much. Another easy decision, tearing all the house elf heads off the walls. As a kid they'd scared the shit out of him and caused awful nightmares, and he wasn't going to let Harry go through that. If Harry was going to grow up in the same house as he did, then Sirius was going to make damn certain it was the opposite from what it had been for him.

Sirius's stomach gave a conspicuous growl, looking at his watch he started practically whining, "Moony, Prongs it's so far past lunch, I might collapse on the stairs."

Both of them checked the time, Moony chuckled and Prongs son of a bitch, Prongs actually cracked a smile. Sirius had nearly forgotten what that had looked like.

"Pads, it's all of ten past noon," Prongs was still smirking slightly.

Sirius stayed deadpan, "Like I said, collapse."

Still chuckling, Moony took his arm to "help" him, as they neared the kitchen Sirius could hear Harry giggling and saw Kreacher entertaining his godson with new smoke tricks.

Within the last week Sirius had noticed a change in the house elf, he seemed to try and stand straighter and Sirius hadn't failed to realize the rooms they'd already gutted and sanitized stayed clean, despite the fact that they hadn't been touched in weeks now. Even the kitchen was more spotless than it was when the they'd first finished with it. Kreacher was by no means respectful, but most of his under the breath comments had become inaudible as of late.

"Kreacher, any chance there's something ready for lunch?"

Looking up at his master Kreacher nodded and grabbed a platter of sandwiches from the counter, carrying them to the table while levitating a pitcher of milk behind him. Prongs picked Harry out of the travel cot and set him in the high chair that had also migrated from Moony's flat.

Sirius sighed as he sat down and reached for a sandwich, although he'd been confident at the funeral they could handle anything the house could throw at them he was still a bit surprised at just how well they were doing. His mother was notorious for never throwing anything out and she'd died shortly after Regulus had, leaving Kreacher nothing to do, it was a bloody miracle the house hadn't eaten itself in the intervening years.

The friends ate in amicable silence, listening to Harry babble while eating the bits of sandwich on the high chair tray. After about half a platter of sandwiches, they heard a knock on the door. Within seconds, all three Marauders had their wands in hand and stood facing the entryway. Sirius did a mental count of the people who knew they were here. Dumbledore, Mcgonagall, Molly and Arthur…maybe one or two others.

"Kreacher, take Harry into the sitting room and do not come out unless I call you."

He knew from the crack behind him when his godson was safe. With that knowledge all three men began to advance toward the front door. Prongs stepped forward and grasped the door handle, nodding to both Moony and Sirius before flinging the door open. Dumbledore was standing on the doorstep looking focused, and completely unconcerned about the three wands pointed at his face.

"Sweet Merlin Professor, we almost took your head off." Moony sagged against the wall and let his wand drop as Dumbledore stepped into the entryway.

Sirius looked back toward the sitting room door, "Kreacher, come out it's safe." Another crack and Kreacher appeared with Harry in his arms. Sirius walked over and picked him up from Kreacher and with his godson playing with one of his shirt buttons, he returned his attention to Dumbledore, who looked at each of them in turn before resting his gaze of Prongs.

"Peter has been caught."

James felt his breath catch and waited. Waited for Dumbledore to take this away from him. But the headmaster just looked at him, eyes filled with something James couldn't identify, maybe a mix of pity and sorrow. He heard Padfoot begin to growl next to him.

"Where is he?"

"At the ministry, his trial is to begin the day after next."

"I need to see him." James was more sure of that than he'd been in anything since Halloween.

He could see Dumbledore hesitate, "Professor I need the rat that did this to my family to see exactly what he's done."

James was ready to push past his teacher if need be, but Dumbledore merely inclined his head and stepped aside. James nearly ran out the door with Padfoot and Moony close behind, once outside he grasped both their shoulders and turned, apparating them all to the ministry.

When the crushing blackness that was apparation lifted James realized Padfoot was still holding Harry and, not for the first time, realized just how little his son liked apparation. Before James could take a step, Moony was there and harry was safely snuggled into his shoulder. With his son calmed down James turned back toward the ministry atrium when Dumbledore appeared next to them with a crack.

He looked James in the eye, "This won't bring her back."

James nodded and began walking. Turns out they'd put Peter in the same cell as they had Padfoot, somehow that irony was lost on James. Barty Crouch was standing in front of the door to the cell, Dumbledore must have told him they'd be coming.

"Now see here Mr. Potter, you cannot go into that cell. I promise this man will face justice, but I cannot condone taking the law into.." his words died at the looks all three Marauders were giving.

Padfoot cleared his throat, "Crouch need I remind you that you nearly sent me to Azkaban for a crime I didn't commit? Without a trial. That rat is the reason my sister is dead. He's why my best friend and godson were nearly killed. So, I suggest you step aside so we can talk to him because if nothing else we deserve a reason for why one of our oldest friends tried to destroy our family."

Crouch paled slightly and looked toward Dumbledore for assistance, but the headmaster merely looked on. Crouch stepped aside, "No torture, no killing." James nodded and all four stepped through the door.

Peter was sniveling in the corner of the cell, James saw him and felt a rage build inside him. He tamped it down.

"Peter."

With one word he saw the rat go from sniveling to afraid in less time than it took to blink. James walked closer and looked at this pathetic excuse of a man. This was someone he'd grown up with, broken rules with, trusted. Peter had been one of the first people to hold Harry, he'd consoled Lily countless times when Petunia ignored her letters. He was also the reason his wife was dead.

"Why?"

Peter stopped sniveling and began to weep openly, "He was going to kill me Prongs, he was going to make me disappear!" Peter was practically whining now.

Something inside James snapped and he started yelling, "That's why we trusted you Peter. We trusted you to keep us safe. I trusted you with my family, trusted you would die before putting them in danger and now Lily is dead. Because of you.

Peter turned toward Moony and Padfoot, as if hoping for support. "What would you have done? If the Dark Lord was going to kill you what would you have done?"

Padfoot charged forward stopping just short of Peter, "I would have died! I would have died rather than betray my friends! Died rather than betray my family!"

"I would have gone to my grave before letting Voldemort anywhere near you Peter." Moony spoke quietly, but James had never heard him speak with such coldness, such indifference.

With condemnation from his former friends Peter shrunk back into the sniveling mess he'd been when they'd entered the cell, but James wasn't through just yet. He stood and looked down at the rat.

"Peter look at Moony, look at him." Peter's eyes slowly traveled to Moony. "He is holding Harry. I want you to look the child, my child, who you tried to sentence to death. You are the one who sentenced him to grow up without his mother." Looking now to Moony James spoke, "Take Harry out of here."

Moony nodded and walked out, not looking at Peter again. When they'd gone James turned his attention back to Peter.

"Now, look at me Peter, you betrayed your oldest friends. We would have gone to our deaths protecting you and now we will make damn sure you never see the light of day again. You not only killed my wife, but you tried to get Sirius thrown into Azkaban for killing all those muggles. I've heard it said Azkaban can be a sentence worse than death. I hope it's true." He spat at the rat and walked out.

James had expected Padfoot to follow, but realized that wasn't the case. He turned and saw Pads wrestling with Peter's left arm before successfully shoving the sleeve up. James walked back across the cell and saw why Padfoot looked horrified. On Peter's forearm was the faint scar of the Dark Mark. Before he could control himself, James punched Peter once across the face. Blood began to spout from Peter's nose, and after looking on for a moment Padfoot repeated James's action. Together the friends walked from the cell.

James stopped in front of Crouch, "He's a bloody Death Eater if you hadn't already known."

He strode past Dumbledore and took Harry from Moony before all three Marauders walked out. By the time they arrived back to Grimmauld place James was practically shaking with the effort of keeping it together. Once inside, James set Harry back in the travel cot kissing the top of his head and breathing in the scent of his hair as had become James's custom.

Walking out into the small back yard, James looked at the pile of rubbish they'd planned on burning that afternoon and felt the rubber band clenching his chest snap. Drawing his wand James began banishing different items around the yard, some he made explode. When the pile was no more he began making it again and repeated the process. Each time the regathered pile got smaller until there was just a layer of rubble covering the entire yard. James couldn't see clearly through the layer of tears on his glasses. He heard Moony summon the rubble into a single pile and felt the heat as Padfoot set it burning.

"He did it for a tattoo. He thought we were going to lose and the cost of switching sides was my family. How could I be so stupid not to see that?"

"None of us saw it Prongs and we traded keeping watch over him every night." Moony's hand on his shoulder made James realize just how much he was shaking.

"Prongs, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I'm the one who told you to choose him as your secret-keeper. I'm the one who should be blamed." Padfoot was barely speaking above a whisper.

They were quiet for a while, all three watching the rubbish pile burn. James cleared his throat and wiped his glasses on this shirt.

"I don't blame you Pads. I could never blame you, any more than I could blame Lily."

He grasped his friend's shoulder for a moment before heading back to the house.

Just as seeing Peter had undone Prongs, being told by Prongs it wasn't his fault caused Sirius to unravel. Since Halloween Sirius had pushed down the guilt he'd felt that he'd killed Lily, pushed down the grief because his friends needed him and on top of it he'd been working on and living in a house that had been a hellhole for the first sixteen years of his life.

Sirius broke.

Sitting down hard on the cold ground he began to weep openly, he let himself feel it all. Sirius aware of Moony, sitting next him. Moony didn't try to hug him or tell him anything. It was exactly what he needed in that moment. When Sirius finally got control of himself again he realized the rubbish fire had burned itself out a while ago and they'd been sitting outside, on the ground, in early December.

Seeing him in control again Moony stood and offered Sirius a hand up. "Come on mate, it's nearly dinnertime."

Nodding Sirius took the offered hand and the two walked into the house.

* * *

Later that night Remus could hear Prongs and Padfoot putting Harry down, he knew Lily had usually done it and it seemed that almost anything Lily could do took at least two Marauders to get done. He went about the kitchen and made three mugs of hot chocolate. Bringing them to the table Remus hit all three with a warming charm and sat down to wait for Harry to actually go to sleep.

About 30 minutes later his friends came down the stairs and practically sighed in relief at the sight of the hot chocolate on the table. Once they were both sitting and a couple sips into their mugs Remus cleared his throat, but spoke quietly.

"Ok, let's make one thing abundantly clear. It is no one's fault that Lily died but Peter. Prongs you did everything you could to save her and honestly, it's a miracle you're not dead too. And Padfoot, you did everything humanly possible to protect our friends. Peter made his own decisions."

Both Prongs and Padfoot looked a little shell shocked. Remus was rarely this foward and it had clearly taken them off guard. After a pause Remus continued, "I'm grieving too, but I refuse to stand by and watch the two of you bury yourselves in guilt for something you couldn't control. It won't bring Lily back and it won't help you keep living. Either of you."

Remus sat back with his own mug and waited. Prongs had found a very interesting knot in the table to look at and Padfoot was still just staring at Remus. Eventually, Padfoot looked across the table at the wall behind him.

After a few minutes Prongs spoke without looking up, "If I had just realized or, or been a little fast I could have- "

"No Prongs, you did every single thing you possible could have, did everything within your power to protect her and Voldemort was stronger. He only made it to her once he thought you were dead."

Remus knew he was being blunt, but he also knew these things needed to be said. His friends were thickheaded and stubborn, the pair of them.

"What about me Moony, if I hadn't pushed for Peter as a secret keeper Lily would be here right now and we wouldn't be cleaning doxies out of curtains."

"Padfoot none of us had any inkling as to what Peter would do. I didn't. Prongs didn't. Dumbledore didn't. Even Lily didn't. We all thought he was one of us and nothing short of seeing the mark on his arm would have convinced us otherwise."

Remus was beginning to get desperate. He needed them to understand, needed them to hear him. "We can't bring her back and Harry needs us. It's going to take all three of us to raise that boy into someone Lily would be proud of. I know we're all grieving, but we can't keep blaming ourselves, we can't. Or Harry will suffer." Remus finished his hot chocolate in one gulp and stood up. "I'm headed to bed. We can start on that second landing in the morning."

With that he left his friends sitting at the table.

Long after Moony had left Sirius and Prongs sat staring into their cups. Without looking up Prongs grunted, "He's right you know."

"That doesn't make it any easier to do."

"No, but I'm pretty sure it means we have to try."

Sirius lifted his mug, "To Harry."

Prongs clanked their mugs together, "To Harry."

With that the both men left the table and went to bed.

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A/N: Again I am practically begging at this point. Please Review. Also if work doesn't pick up the next chap should be posted in the next couple weeks.


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